Who is a woman?

She is a daughter, a sister, a friend and mother and so much more. Being a woman in the 21st century, I am sick and tired of this line being used as the opening and closing of every International Women’s Day speech. Even though I take pride in being a responsible daughter, a loving sister, a caring friend and hopefully, a wonderful mother some day, it is high time that someone took the onus to elaborate on the ‘so much more’ in every woman’s story.

Who is a woman when she is not someone defined by virtue of the role she plays to make other’s lives better.

1.  She is someone with her own needs: Being a woman entails being the nurturer, the giver. But no one ever said anything about ONLY being a giver. Since time immemorial, women have been the O+ blood group for the people around them, universal donors! Little do they know, even as she gives, she keeps emptying a cup that sometimes no one bothers to fill- with a little love, patience and kindness!

2.  She once was a one sided lover: Before you begin scandalizing your mothers and sisters, let me define a one sided lover to you. A one sided lover is someone who dreams and wishes for someone or something knowing that she is never gonna get it. Let me bet on this to you, every woman you have ever met has dreamed of a future which she is presently not living, at some point in her past. It could be a one sided love of seeing herself as a pilot or a police officer, or maybe just not married at 21 years of age.

3.  She has the gift of intuition: Have you ever wondered why your mothers are so perceptive about even so much as a glum look on your face? Or how women almost always know that you have a crush on them? Believe me, when God forgot to give them the physical strength or muscular stature, he bestowed upon them the best gift of intuition. So if a woman tells you the path is not ideal, it most assuredly won’t be.

4.  She is a beacon of incredible patience: They say, if a woman oaths to obliterate your life, she most assuredly will. Don’t believe me? Take any war in history, destruction of any society; I promise you, a woman is most assuredly somehow a part of the root cause. So if the women in your life are not calling you out on your bullshit, it’s not because they don’t realise it, it’s because they choose not to act on their knowledge.

5.  She is a human: I know you may be thinking why put out such an obvious statement. But if we really look into the reality we live in, we sometimes forget this obvious fact. A woman is always someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s sister, someone’s friend, but never a person of her own. Don’t agree with me? Then answer this, when was the last time you referred to a woman by just her name and no tag attached to it. Hell, even her name gets transformed as she navigates from one ownership to another- from father to husband.

And as the world moves forward, the way it has since forever, a woman will always be a sister, a daughter, a mother, a friend. But believe me when I say, she will always also be- herself.