Turntable

I was twelve years old the first time I got to represent my church’s youth wing in a centre-level competition. For context, my church has a youth wing for anyone above the age of 12 till the age of 35/40 to be a part of. Every region with a considerable number of churches becomes a centre (I belong to the one in Delhi), and every year we get together to participate in various competitions (singing, quiz, sports, plays, etc.) and conferences.

I have shared about one such conference experience I had as a twelve-year-old before. If you haven’t read about that and are curious to know more, here’s the link - https://blog.sharlinthomas.in/2024/01/one-minute-girl.html

Bright-eyed, extremely awkward Shar got the opportunity to use her talents to the best of her abilities. The confidence she gained was reflected in her school performance and in who she was becoming as a person.

The first time I got to stay away from home without my parents was when I was fifteen. There was a youth conference in Satna (Madhya Pradesh), and one of my church didis encouraged my parents to let me go, and so I went away to a foreign land for a weekend, to meet new people and learn from the Word of God. I made my first friends outside of church at this conference, and I am happy to say, more than a decade later, we are the closest of friends.

I turned eighteen, and college rolled around. The Centre’s youth wing rolled out a call for people to join their praise and worship group “Moments of Glory”. I joined, quite enthusiastically, might I add. There I met a bunch of people who would become my lifelines – see me through heartaches, moving cities, getting married…We bonded over singing and prayer; we stayed because we cared. The official group disbanded, but somehow, even now, we manage to stay in touch and meet occasionally.

During this time, I also got to work with amazing people on the centre magazine called Crosswords. The chief editor at the time is one of my closest mentors now. From 18 to 21, I got to serve as the Secretary for my church’s youth activities – learned important lessons on leadership, accountability and taking responsibility.

I turned 21 and moved cities. Found another church and centre to be a part of. There I was, older than most kids. Suddenly, I became chechi (elder sister), someone they looked up to for advice and support. Masters took a lot of my time; I couldn’t contribute much in that role there, but I did what I could. I met people who would later go to the seminary and become achens (priests), missionaries and social workers.

23 years old, I returned. Home parish had changed a lot - new kids, new roles, new responsibilities…I slowly got comfortable with the role of being a mentor, emulating everything I had seen my bhaiyas and didis do when I was younger. This phase was short-lived. I got married sooner than I thought. (Also a result of meeting my now husband at one such youth event : p)

A new church meant a brand new youth group. Kids who hadn't grown up in front of my eyes. Bhaiya-didis who were only acquaintances from the centre events. Some were friends I made along the way, but mostly a blank canvas to work with.

Took a year before I managed to get used to shifting loyalties; I was now competing against the people I grew up competing with. Centre events became a space to see the people you have known a lifetime but not know what they have planned – watch them perform and feel as proud as you always have. 

Centre events now feel like never before – I have now grown older and my mentors almost feel like peers – both lost in a sea of new youths we don’t recognise but are so happy to see. The church grew, and so did we. I got used to the new people and realised that I had now fully embraced the role of being didi.

Twelve-year-old Shar, who found herself through youth activities, was now twenty-six-year-old Sharlin didi carrying around her Doraemon bag of anything anyone might ever need and providing much-needed calmness in the chaos.

Now, why did I go down this very specific trip down memory lane…it’s mostly a thank you to everyone who shaped me to become who I am today – mentors, peers, friends (you know who you are) and an ode to who I am becoming. Being part of the youth group gave me a chance to find myself in ways I might not have otherwise.

Two decades on this path, one more to go, I can’t wait to see what more is left for me to experience and become. For now, all I want to say is that I am grateful that I had people whom I could look up to growing up, and now I can do the same in my own little ways. Life is a turntable, and I love this new song that’s playing.