Thirty days since…

It’s been exactly a month since I made one of the most crucial decisions of my life. I stood in front of (what felt like a billion) people facing God and promised to have and to hold this one man for life! That was day 0. Thirty days later, I have things to say. Lessons I learnt; the life I gained.

But first – some facts:

1. Mine was an arranged love marriage that took more than a year to make, giving me and my partner ample time to get to know each other and for our parents to bond.

2. Both of us were raised in similar life circumstances, allowing us to relate and agree to many aspects of leading life.

3. Since our first meeting, we have intentionally discussed our family, career and life goals.  

4. Our priority was to allow our families to take the lead in planning the wedding which saved us as a couple enough time and space to focus on life after the wedding day.

The wedding day was fun, extremely eventful to say the least. But thirty days into the reminiscence, here are a few things I am grateful we did –

1. Having a separate space for me to get ready the day of! My extended family staying at home got to spend the night before catching up while I got my much-required ‘beauty’ sleep.

2. Logistics delegation – This has to be said – my father played a key role in arranging the key logistics for the day but what saved him time, energy and mental space was the presence of my close family (blood relations and otherwise) taking charge of each aspect within.

3. Wedding shopping – we finished all the major shopping for our attire and my trousseau the week after the engagement which got us enough time to make any tweaks required in the months that followed.

4. E-invites – Designing our engagement and wedding invitation was probably the most artsy thing I got to do – super fun and fulfilling.

5. Wedding choir – It was a true honour to have my choir be present for my wedding. They even designed in-house wedding booklets for the guests to follow and take home as keepsakes. The biggest bonus - Appa singing the opening chorus for the song of well-wishes.

6. The dance performance by our church fams. Did I expect one? Yes! Did I get what I expected? Absolutely not! I expected a dance, they gave us a celebration of their joy. Calling it a surprise would be the understatement of the century! From the youngest to the oldest, every one delivered and boi are we grateful for it.

7. And lastly, the best thing: Libin and I took some time out after the ceremony to sit and pray. It gave us strength to carry on smiling through the rest of the night, but more importantly, we know it set the precedent for the rest of our lives together.

I am glad we did not worry too much about things going south. Looking back, all we can truly recall are the happy moments. And now to the main part, thirty days in – this is what I have learnt –

1. No level of planning can truly prepare you for what comes after the wedding day. Allow for life to take its due course and as time goes by, you will know what to do.

2. As much as you can – let go! Not every hill is for you to die on.

3. Know that things will be different. It does not mean that it will be bad. You need to keep an open mind and let yourself experience this new life you are building for yourself.

4. Small moments matter. Make those rituals, start those traditions. They will let you see light in the dark tunnels of life ahead.

Thirty days is not enough to say anything at all. But for me, I feel like a different person – growing and glowing in this new life. If you are someone planning to get married – take heart, everything works out for the better. And if you are reading this as a married human– did I miss something? I would love to know.

Until then! Signing off for the first time,

Mrs. Shar

Amateur wifey/bahu (on probation)

Forever child of God -`♡´-