Loving is letting go

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In twenty-five years of my existence on this planet, the one thing I have struggled with the most is grief –losing friends to circumstances, family to death, loved ones to choices, opportunities to fate and parts of myself to time. Losing myself I started calling growth, in the hopes that I am becoming a better version of myself with time. Losing opportunities, I called destiny, that life has something better, more meaningful for me. Losing family I called time, circle of life complete with fond memories left behind.

But losing friends and loved ones…I struggle with that even today. When someone who knows and owns a part of your soul suddenly becomes a stranger, that realization can be gut-wrenching. But now I know better, and that is what I want to share with you today.

See my problem was looking at people who entered my life as investments. I put my time, effort, love and care into you, and you remain in my life as a person I hold dear. When you decide to leave, you take away everything I gave you, along with a part of myself.  There is an eerie sense of possession that consumes me. My friend...Sure, be other people’s too…but be my friend!

And then when circumstances rip the threads of that friendship and love apart, I become livid, I lose myself in trying to reclaim whatever is slowly fading away from my life. How could they? After all this time, after everything we have done for each other, after everything we shared…How! It is not like someone stepping out of your home, it feels like being suddenly made homeless, with no place to go, no person to confide in. You miss the comfort, the warmth of familiarity. But life goes on, and so do you.

Now I breathe a little better when someone leaves my life. I no longer consider them to be someone to possess but someone to experience. Experiences unlike possessions are bound to fade with time. You enjoy it in the present, not knowing if it will continue to be within your reach in the future. You make memories, you live in the now. And then, even if people step out of your story, they remain as beautiful chapters in your life. Not as someone you lost, but as someone you experienced, and built a home of memories with. You may no longer be welcome in that home, but the feelings remain in your heart. And honestly, that is enough. Life is too short to worry about what passed you by. I would rather keep my heart open for the people who chose to remain and for those who are yet to come.

May you find your peace through all your grief! May you always love…and let go

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