Baby Steps

I have never held a baby in my arms. You see, I have two rules: 1. never do anything half-heartedly, and 2. never do anything without preparation. Holding a baby for the first time? No amount of will or preparation can ever make one ready for it. And that is why, in my fear of dropping this fragile human body mid-air, I have never held a baby.

That was until a week ago! I was out and about in the beautiful city of Vellore, visiting an after-care school as part of my field visit. I always introduce myself as Sara in such spaces. Sharlin is just too difficult to remember, I have learned. So, on that fateful evening, I did the same, introduced myself as Sara, and carried on my routine of interacting with the kids present. 

It was not until I was done with my work that the teacher of the class told me that her newly-born two-month-old is also named Sara. I was beaming at the information, and so was she. I didn't think much of it until I had to leave. And that is when the fateful thing happened! The teacher called my name, placed her newborn in my arms, and asked me to pose for a picture. "To commemorate the first meeting of the 'Sara's," she said. I was shocked! Bewildered, my thoughts ran wild. WHAT IF I DROP THE BABY!!?

It all happened in a matter of seconds. I did not have time to think! In psychology, we call this exposure therapy. Plunge deep into the ocean to get used to the water. It does not work with everyone or in every situation. But it worked for me.

To this day, I do not know where the skill or the strength came within me to hold that fragile little baby without causing her inevitable death in my arms. But now that I have finally held a baby in my arms, I know I won't be afraid the next time around.

Now, what was the point of this story? I learned a very important lesson in that moment, the one that Mountain Dew has gotten bang on :) "Darr ke aage, jeet hai" (There is victory beyond fear) But today, what I wanted to share is how to make that leap of faith. It is simple. You don't! You either wait for it to happen on its own or assign someone to push you into making it happen. In my case, it was the unassuming new mother, oblivious that she was giving her baby to a complete novice. In your case, it can be a trusted friend or a partner who you share your desire and fear with and they help keep you accountable. 

And if you can't find anyone suitable, but despite the fear you really want to make it happen, then my friend, baby steps is all it will take. Hold dolls, before you hold babies. Visualize before you execute. Do it by yourself, but don't do it alone. Pray before you perform. And if not anything else, believe that when the time is right, you will find the strength and the courage to make it happen. Because what is life if not a bunch of cliffs and oceans to jump and swim across...