Coffee and Complaining

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I don’t talk about my faith very much. Even though it is one of the most important aspects of my life, I have always presented a watered-down, secular version of it in public. But that is really not the case. In an attempt to make weekend plans with me, a very close friend of mine said, “I keep losing you to church”. Interestingly, that has always been the case. Since I was a very little kid, Sundays were always for church. For twenty-five years, my schedule looked like this – Monday to Saturday: School/College/Work; Sunday: Church.

You may ask – when does this girl take a break? Honestly, I don’t think I have had one till I entered into my PhD program and switched to taking up remote work assignments. Sundays continue to remain for church. But this is not about how I spend my Sundays – this is about my faith journey.

Five minutes ago, in my morning worship, I read this Bible verse – ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news’ (Romans 10:15b). And it follows ‘faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the word about Christ’ (Romans 10:17). It got me seriously thinking, and here I am typing away now. I speak so much about love, life, joy and the beauty of life on this blog, but I have never really shared the most crucial factor that brings all these things into my life – my faith.

I was seventeen when I first contemplated ending my life. Those who have known me then may remember me for how frail I was. My weakness was not just physical; I had truly given up on life at that point. Till then, my relationship with church and faith was very transactional. My parents practically forced us to show up to church every Sunday, and we went simply because we liked the company of our peers and the community we shared. So much of my story writing, my public speaking, my singing comes from the exposure I had at church, but till that point, I can’t really say I had a very personal relationship with Christ.

All that changed in March of 2016. I will not say that it was a dramatic transformation, that I had a vision and life became anew. But as a force of habit, I opened the Bible before I decided to say the final goodbye to this world. Now, I know that the first verse you come across when you open the Bible is not the answer to your question, but for seventeen-year-old me, what came up that day is why I am still alive and remain on this Earth.

The verse read – ‘For I have plans for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11)

And what a beautiful life it has been since! Next year, I will be celebrating ten years of this extended life. The Lord has been with me every step of the way. For those who know me as the calm and collected one, the organized one, the ‘always there for people’ one, the non-judgmental one – none of this stems from who I am. I can very confidently say that it is my faith in Christ Jesus who saved me from myself, my doubts and my worries that I can be whatever I am for the people in my life.

All my flaws that you see, that’s 100% all me! And I can proudly say that I am a work in progress and my relationship with Christ is too. We are going through the Lenten season right now. For those who don’t know, this is the time when we mirror the suffering of Christ in remembrance of his sacrifice by living a life of abstinence, fasting and prayer. In simple words, give up the things you love, reduce your consumption and spend time in personal and communal prayer, meditating on the Word of God.

This Lenten season, I am giving up on coffee and complaining. Putting these words out there is a testimony to who I truly am. A majority of my friends come from other faiths, and if you are reading this, I want you to know that this is who I am and what makes me the Shar you love and cherish. This is not a call for action. It is just for me to be my true, authentic self.

And for my friends that share the same faith as me, I hope this Lenten season brings you closer to yourself and to the one who made you so fearfully and wonderfully. 

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 13, 2025 at 11:16 AM

    He has got great plans for the 16 year old shar !!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 13, 2025 at 1:36 PM

    Surely it's an insight about you for me. Maybe not much, but through this blog of yours I've got to know abit more about you. You're a blessing to the people around you. Keep showing your presence. And I hope, there will be many more people who get to read this. They should know the miracle Lord works upon our lives.

    ReplyDelete

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