Balance vs Boundaries

It’s been roughly four months since I started working and in my perpetual search to have the perfect work-life balance, I realised that I had discovered something new. Let’s call it work-life boundaries wherein we do not let our work commitments, emails and everything in between flow into the time reserved for everything else that we define as our life.

Now how is this exactly different from having a work-life balance? See, balancing is an act that requires us to have a fairly equal distribution of time required and commitments on both ends of the scale. But like it or not, most of us nine-to-fivers tend to have a majority of our day and brain space perpetually occupied by our work. And let me not even begin to describe the ridiculousness that is the work hours of people in the healthcare, tech and hospitality sectors. There is effectively no balance as is.

Does that mean there is no solution to the treadmill we run every day between work and life? No! And this is why I wanted to talk more about these tiny little boundaries that we can incorporate into our lives to bring more meaning to what pays our bills and what fills our souls.

Here’s what I think -

1. Prioritize: What new thing am I trying to say you might ask? Well, I want to take about degrees of engagement. How much are we accessible and available to our work-life social circles? To make it clearer, during my wakeful hours, am I available for my family at all times? Yes. For my friends? Depending on the urgency. For my co-workers? Only during office hours.

Many of us tend to be so wrapped up in our work that we forget to reach out to family and friends, answer their calls and messages, and be present when they need us. But what is work and the joy we get from it if we have no one to share it with? Holding on strictly to who can contact us when and for what can effectively bring greater quality and meaning to our interactions.

2. Immerse: I should call myself incredibly blessed that I get to work in a field that has always interested me. If life has been that kind to you, then what I say next will make a lot more sense. If eight hours is what I need to devote in a day to work, then all I think, breathe and document is work. Whether it be existing commitments or new ideas, those eight hours become the time that I get my everyday work stew cooking.

And when the eight hours are up, I let the stew simmer, put my work brain on the back burner and jump on to my next daily adventure. Immersion can be really empowering if we learn how to do it right, not just in work but in our life too. For example, if we are listening to a friend rant, how intent are we on their every word? Are we listening to understand or are we listening to respond? Every intention matters.

3. Escape: Do you know the difference between rest and rejuvenation? Resting is like switching off our phone, and rejuvenating is like putting it to charge. We often log off from work but never give our minds the time or space to phase out of it. Even when we are at home, having dinner with our family or catching up with friends, it’s work that tends to occupy the major share at the back of our heads. So, what are we doing about that?

Lately, I realised that movies helped me zone out of work and ease into the rest of my day. Reading tends to bring me the much-needed joy and vigour to continue my day. Each of us has our sweet spots when it comes to what calms us down and fills us up with the energy to enthusiastically go about our day. Find your way to rest and rejuvenate; that just might set another effective work-life boundary.

I can say a lot more, but then it might sound like preaching to the choir. So, I leave you with what I think is the golden triangle of work-life boundaries: Prioritize-Immerse-Escape!

May this new year bring you lots of joy and peace.