The Unabridged Version of a Rational Emotional Mind

For anyone who has been a victim of any form of verbal abuse, be it from a passive aggressive childhood best friend, or a soul sucking bully, or a ghosting ‘true love’ or just anyone who just won’t let you breathe, we know how hard it can be to stand up for ourselves and confront these mean entities. Even though traditionally it’s said that standing up for oneself and confronting is the best way to regain our inner peace. I beg to differ and today I will tell you exactly why. So here’s a friendly guide to dealing with mean people: Energy Saver Edition Step one: Awareness A few things to understand about the nature of mean people in your life: 1.   Intention is important: As a word of caution, before we label somebody mean or a bully, we need to ask ourselves if we were in their position would we say such words or do such things. Intent to crime my friend is always a deal breaker. 2.   If they are mean to you, they won’t get you: If someone is already on the path of hurti...

Let’s do an activity together today. Think about your favourite colour, your favourite flower, favourite stress buster, favourite movie, favourite place to hang out, favourite comfort food, favourite bully, favourite embarrassment, favourite pain. Did you get stuck up on the last three favourites I asked you to think about? Well don’t be fazed, hang in there! I’ll tell you why. Once I asked a close friend to tell me seven favourite spots in his house with a special memory attached to it, and he asked me, ‘Can this favourite place be somewhere I cried?’ That got me thinking that why is it that every favourite of ours is attached to something that makes us happy, why can’t it be something that taught us life lessons through the pain. Don’t get lost in the confusion yet, I will tell you exactly what I mean. You see, the word favourite has its roots in the Latin word ‘favere’ which means ‘to show kindness to’ and the past participle of the Italian word ‘favorire’ which means ‘to favour’. S...

‘To begin to love someone truly completely, you will have to learn to love yourself first’, I have heard this quote umpteen number of times all my life. Recently I came across an absolutely different take to this perspective- ‘I may not know how to love myself, but Lord knows that I love you to pieces.’ I believe love is as complex as any other human emotion, if not the most complex one. It can make you do things you never imagined yourself to do and shatter your soul into a million pieces when you feel that love you have for someone is slowly fading away. So what is it about loving someone unconditionally that hurts so much? What is it about love that makes us who we are even when we are not completely ourselves? When is the ‘right’ time to start loving someone else? Once we learn how to love ourselves or despite ever being able to do so. I can’t answer all these questions at once. But I can try to answer the last one- the right time to begin loving someone. I believe what makes love...

Ever wondered how a beautiful Lotus flower blooms and prospers in the most unsightly of environments- the marshy wetlands? Well, it is to signify that sometimes beauty and greatness can truly shine only in the most unforeseen of circumstances. This is exactly what makes the Lotus not just any other ordinary flower, but a unique one. So what makes one bloom in the most unfavorable of life circumstances? 1.       One’s Life Support: They say that even if you are dying inside and you have someone to share your pain with, you die a happy man. When life throws us in the pit of misery, the one aspect that acts as the pulley that drags us out is our life support system- in the form of our family, our friends and the people we love and look up to. 2.       One’s Hope for a Better Future:  The one thing that truly kills the will to live in any man is the death of hope in him. Anything we do in a day is with the hope to see a better future. Eerily enough, we sle...

Being a part of a world dominating religion, in a country where it is in minority is an eerily odd experience. It makes you a part of a major world community while alienating you in your own home land. Being a Christian in the Land of Sindhu (‘Hindu’stan as we now call it) is a life experience that makes us look at the very idea of life from a varied angle than the majority. Practicing Christianity in the metropolitan city of Delhi has its advantages like none other. 1.         We get the subtexts in any international work of art or entertainment : Ever wonder who Adam is? Or why the apple keeps popping up in every conversation about a mistake? While you may be sitting and wondering, a person born Christian does not have to think twice or Google things when such sub texts occur in popular literature or our favourite sitcoms, we are taught about it, since day 1. 2.       We know our religion : This little fact is something any practicing Christian can b...

With freedom comes responsibility; when Nick Fury says this statement to Spider Man, it resonated with the 12 year old me at a level that I now as a 21 year old individual understand much better. When I look at little babies around me, I see that independence for them means the freedom to put their teeny fingers inside electric sockets or bite and lick away anything and everything they might find. Sigmund Freud describes this phase as the age of the Id, the harbinger of the notorious carnal desires of humans to get what they want, the exact moment they wish to get them. As a kid grows old, their ego kicks in. This term ‘Ego’ that I use here does not translate into the commonsensical understanding of the term as intense and blind pride. In Freudian terms, this word is in fact the exact opposite of the common understanding. Ego, herein, is the voice of reason in every human. One that tells us when to do what we desire to do. Our school systems with its strict schedules are breeding groun...

She is a daughter, a sister, a friend and mother and so much more. Being a woman in the 21 st century, I am sick and tired of this line being used as the opening and closing of every International Women’s Day speech. Even though I take pride in being a responsible daughter, a loving sister, a caring friend and hopefully, a wonderful mother some day, it is high time that someone took the onus to elaborate on the ‘so much more’ in every woman’s story. Who is a woman when she is not someone defined by virtue of the role she plays to make other’s lives better. 1.   She is someone with her own needs : Being a woman entails being the nurturer, the giver. But no one ever said anything about ONLY being a giver. Since time immemorial, women have been the O+ blood group for the people around them, universal donors! Little do they know, even as she gives, she keeps emptying a cup that sometimes no one bothers to fill- with a little love, patience and kindness! 2.   She once was a on...

In my school days, I read this short story in class about a man; 25 years old then, enter into a wager with his friend that he would stay 15 years in solitary confinement if his friend agrees to pay him with half of his property at the end of the period. They strike the wager and the man enters the voluntary solitary confinement of 15 years in the dark high walled cellar at the outhouse of his friend’s house. Before I tell you the end of this story, let me ask you a few questions. What do you think? Will he be able to stay in voluntary confinement for 15 years without complaint? What will he do during this time? How long will he stay in voluntary confinement, knowing that he can get out at any moment? When will be his breaking point? Will there be one? The reason why I got reminded of this story is because of the condition that we are living our days, these times, away from our regular work lives, from our family and friends and loved ones. At one point, I started to feel the way this ...