The Unabridged Version of a Rational Emotional Mind

In life sometimes We meet people Who catch our eyes Meet our gaze And yet Feel incredibly out of reach All we can do then Is look at them With awe and wonder   I had a boy like this in my life I was twelve back then Summer camp of ‘11   There are only glimpses of him  Left in my mind He used to sing incredibly well I think he was older too We never spoke To each other   I do not know If I wanted to be friends with him Or if I wanted to be like him Is this what... Longing for companionship feels like? Or did I just want to emulate Everything that twelve-year-old me Fathomed that unattainable boy to be?   It has been a decade since…   I saw him again today Memories faded The fascination remains   We did not speak…yet again But somehow, I felt giddy Familiar feelings resurfaced again Starry-eyed twelve-year-old Returning Fathoming...the unattainable Wondering Why?

I keep wondering  What we are? You are more than a friend  Short of a scar  Etched deep into my heart  One step further  Shards... One step away  Emptiness I want you to be in my life  But I can't make you stay  I want you out of my life  But I can't make you leave  I am attached Detached  Loved  Pained  Hurt  Relieved Broken...still You came like a thunderstorm  Went like the rain  I need you  Please stay  Don't go away I have asked  I won't again  I need love I really need love I don't want to be alone  I want you to stay I am in pain  I need love  I can't give it to myself  I want company Mine alone is not enough I am done  I am tired  I am torn  I am sorry  I shouldn't have let go  And now you won't come back  I am impatient  I can't wait  I have to move on  There is no one to move to  I feel alone  Betrayed...