Precocious Grief
I have been sitting with this thought for months now. Virtually unable to pen it down until I saw this reel that really triggered me enough to let my emotional bucket overflow. I am reaching an age where chances of me losing a loved one to time are greater than finding new souls to call my own. And I don’t know what I am supposed to do with that. I am a future-focused thinker, no matter how hard I try to be present in the moment. So when I meet my friends, or talk to my parents, sit with my partner, or laugh with my sister, I am actively dreaming up a reality in my head where they won’t be with me. Then there is also the thought, What if I am the one to fade away first? I am petrified of what my last memory would be in the minds of the people who matter to me. Since ammachi’s death I have been extra careful of how I end conversations and meetings with people who own a part of my soul. Is this normal? – To experience grief way before I have truly experienced it as reality. Am I losing o...